Christ, the ultimate model

A few nights ago I was thinking about a scenario in my head. I would be having a conversation with someone and they would ask me about discipline and I would say that we don't hit people in our house or hitting is not allowed in our home. That person would have a confused look on their face and then they would ask "Well then what DO you do?". I would tell them about re-direction when they are very little, natural and logical consequence, time-in or comfort corner, etc. I would say that my job is to teach my child how to handle his feelings in appropriate ways and that I want their obedience to come from the heart, not out of fear. And as parents we should model the behavior we want to see. We are trying to model ourselves, and how we discipline after Christ.
This got me thinking. The point of Jesus coming to earth was for Him to model the type of life He wants us to live! Jesus isn't in heaven looking down on us ready to zap us when we do something wrong. We do have to face the natural consequences of our choices, but He doesn't throw in an extra, unrelated punishment for good measure. He is full of grace and His love is not conditional on how we act. Christ is our model as His followers and as parents we are models for our children and their first idea of who God is.
Christ modeled: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control
These are the things I want to model and teach my child.
No spankings necessary.

Not a Wordless Wednesday

Today for International Babywearing Week I met up with my local group at the mall. We were originally going to go to a farm but it rained. I had a decent time. I arrived late so I had to walk around a little before I found them. Once I did I chatted a little but I still feel a little like an outsider. When we got the the play area I felt like all the other moms were talking to each other but I was by myself with my little guy. Before the group was over I did talk to a mom with a 5 month old who is almost as big as my guy, had teeth and looks like he is about to crawl. Oh, and he has 12 fingers to boot! It was very interesting. I'm glad she struck up a conversation with me :)
Here is Isaiah at the mall; he is starting to stand on his own!

Wordless Wednesday

My little guy is looking older everyday!
(I still think I look awful)

Musings

I don't have anything specific to write about.
Right now I am trying to bee open to new friendships. I really need to connect with some people besides my husband and son. This week we purchased a Wii and a few games. I'm hoping the Zumba and dance games will help me either maintain or loose some weight.
This week a blog that I read posted a link to another blog where the author did a 50's housewife experiment. It's a great read!
Another blog I like is doing a series on sex education in the home. The post on masturbation is thought provoking.
Starting next week I think I'll participate in Wordless Wednesday. (This will guarantee my 1 post a week goal, hehe)

Sick

For the past 3 1/2 weeks Isaiah and I have been coughing. We have both seen our doctor and she reassured me that he does not have whooping cough and I just have allergies. Besides having this cold, today for the first time someone made me physically sick because of a conversation they were having.

The conversation was about a 1 year old who is not crawling yet and has 2 doting sisters. For some reason they thought it would be a good idea to start beating (their word, not mine) this baby. And it was ok to leave him on the floor on his belly for 20 minutes while he buried his head in the carpet crying. I cannot for the life of me figure out why a 1 year old baby would need a beating, spanking, or whatever you want to call it, for any reason. We left after the conversation was over. I felt physically ill after and I was trying to hold back tears once I was in the hallway. I can't for the life of me figure out the logic for hitting a baby because they are not crawling yet. And oh yeah, according to one of them, boys are lazy. If I was one of the males in that room I would have been terribly offended.
Phew...Glad I got that out.

Now I can see how God has changed my heart. A few months ago I don't know if I would of had the same reaction.

Mastering the Smile and Nod

If there is one thing parents have learned it is that you will get advice you did not ask for and comments will be made about your child(ren) about situations they know nothing about. This is where mastering the art of Smile and Nod comes in. I'm still (and will probably always be) a work in progress but I have come a long way. I have learned that it is not worth my time and energy to engage certain people when all it will do is make me defensive and frustrated.

Recently I was speaking with a therapist trying to work through things from my past. I'm not sure how we got on the subject of my son and sleep but we did. The comment was made that in other countries everyone sleeps in the same room but in America we don't do that. This person went on to say that if an 8 year old still sleeps with their parents then they would not be able to attend a sleep over because they would not be able to sleep without their parents, inferring that in other countries this is not a problem because they do not have sleepovers.
As she was speaking she was looking at me with the look of 'you agree right?' So this is where I applied the smile and nod technique. Since she is more educated in child development I did not think this was a discussion I wanted to get into. My smile and nod technique consisted of a neutral facial expression, little eye contact and looking at my son as a distraction. Since she is a therapist I wonder if she knew what I was doing.

I don't agree with the statement that an 8 year old who sleeps with their parents would not be able to attend a sleepover for a couple reasons.

1.   Personal experience - When I was 8 I was still sleeping with my mom most nights. Honestly I was afraid of the dark (and kind of still am). I could sleep just fine in the dark with my mom. I went to plenty of sleepovers and overnight trips with friends just fine! When I felt that I was too old to sleep with my mom I slept in my own room on my own (with a light).
2. Going off my own understandings of co-sleeping, it is not just about sleeping with your parent. It is about sleeping with other people around. I believe that at 8, a child who wanted to sleep over with their friends would do fine because they would still be sleeping with other people, not alone. And honestly, how much sleep goes on at a sleep over anyway? If the child got scared and wanted to go home and snuggle with their parents, what's wrong with that? That said, I could be completely wrong.

So after applying the smile and nod, I assume that the therapist thinks my son sleeps alone at night in his own room in a crib. If she only knew my son sleeps next to his mommy and daddy every night :)

Who? What? Where? When? Why?

Who: Some of the who was answered in the first post. But of course there is more to me and I’m sure it will come out as time goes on. So here are some extra tidbits about me. I like arts and crafts type things like crocheting and painting. I would like to learn how to sew. I also sing, play the piano and I play a little acoustic guitar.

What: Intentional: on purpose. This defines the type of parent I want to be for Isaiah. I am parenting Isaiah in a way that is different from how I was brought up. So instead of relying on what I know I have to purposefully seek other ways and purposefully apply them. Brown: The color of my skin. I usually don’t like to focus on skin color when it comes to things but since becoming pregnant I have found that there is a huge disparity regarding all things good for baby in the African-American community. Including mortality rates and breastfeeding to name a couple. Mama: a mother.That's what I am, and I take it very seriously.
Where: Virginia

When: Hopefully once  a week

Why: So I can have a place to express and share my thoughts and feelings about things I am learning about motherhood. I also hope to be a face for other mamas, particularly my fellow brown mamas.

(Please excuse this brown color. I'm still trying to figure this out!)
(Never mind, I figured it out!)

Hi! I'm new here!

I finally decided to take the plunge and create a blog. The reason, I finally thought of a good name. Silly reason but it's the truth! I must admit I'm a little apprehensive about this. First off I'm wondering what I will write about. Second, I'm wondering if I'll be able to handle any criticism that may come my way. Only time will tell. Maybe no one will read this and I can hide in the blogosphere. So just in case someone besides my husband and a good friend are reading this let me introduce myself...

Hi, my name is Celeste. I'm married to "M" (haven't decided if I want to do real names, initials or nick names). I am a first time, stay-at-home mom to "I". I am 24 years old and a Seventh-Day Adventist Christian. I am becoming more and more alternative, hippy, crunchy (what ever you wanna call it) every day.

For all my parenting messag board people (or person)
I  AP,  HB, CD, EBF, BW, BS, and do a little EC. Learning to be a GCM!